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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 54
The Mafia Gazette Issue 54 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Thursday 17th November 'MIAMI’S TOP CITIZEN ARRESTED IN MONEY LAUNDERING SCAM ' By: Rabid At 8:49 Nov 16th, MadDog went to a friend’s house in Atlanta to hand him two million dollars. When he got there, he was surprised to see the place swarming with cops. He tried to run. Suddenly you realize that all exits are blocked by approaching police officers. You’re under arrest. The judge has sentenced you to thirty minutes in Atlanta jail. $7,305,797 was confiscated from your bank account. Your sentence will expire in 29 minutes and 59 seconds on November 16, 8:59.42 PM “What the fuck?” MadDog was heard to say. “You will be hearing from my attorney” another witness reports he said. With his one phone call he called friend of a friend who immediately broke him out of jail. One the lam, MadDog was treated like a common thug and hoodlum. He had lost 7 mil and had transferred the rest to a trusted advisor. Almost penniless he resorted to stealing purses and cars. Finally he met with his attorney, who met with a judge. He was pardoned for escaping and his record was sealed. He was admonished by the Judge to stay away from criminal elements. As long as he does that, his records will remain private. 'ANATOMY OF A PLOT (OR HOW I TRIED TO TAKE THE PRIESTHOOD OUT) ' By: Aladdin This story is based on a conversation I had with a person that has now passed on so there is no need to sully his memory with his name however I believe it is important that this story is reported. Although the plot failed, it showed imagination and style. Except for the efforts of a RHM that recognized the plot for what it was it would have worked. I spoke with that individual as well so I could get both sides of the story. Our story starts with the crafting of some fake communications, messages designed to create mistrust between a street boss and one of her largest cash supporters. These were used to stop communication between them. The message offered a handsome sum to kill the street boss. In fact these messages are still floating around. Make no mistake they are fake. Next came the messages saying the Street Boss and the moneyman were teaming up to offer big dollar hits on other Street Boss’s and more importantly the leaders of the Priesthood. Concurrently, messages suggesting another Street Boss were also distributed. These messages were offering money for hits on the Priesthood leaders. Naturally, the Priesthood reacted swiftly however they didn’t just come with guns blazing they made inquiries and through careful examination of the messages the plot was uncovered. Unfortunately, some deaths did occur but at the end of the day the plot was stopped. This story is an example that our world is progressing. Firstly, something other than brute force was used in an attempt to take down a family and secondly communication was used to stop the threat. LATE BREAKING UPDATE: last night a renewed effort was launched this time directed only on the “Peace Makers.” It is more of the same style attack, claims that there is a plot within the crew to take out the boss and the RHM. Further information will be revealed as it is uncovered. 'ELDERLY ATTACKED ' From: Jenni_Contello A long time resident of the streets was gunned down today in Chicago. Petri, an honourable though not necessarily well-known man, had taken a short sabbatical from life in general, but had decided to come back to the streets to provide help where he could. The parents of some of these Mafiosi may remember Petri's work in the early days, when street bosses first started popping up across the nation. Coalitions were being formed left and right in an effort to create unity amongst the noble mobsters. This was back in the day when the streets were filled with honourable men and women speaking out against random muggings and whacking, while others fought to protect their trade. Petri was, in those days, a strong advocate for the execution of random whackers. He and the crew of which he was part, as well as the other crews of the Atlanta Coalition, made it publicly known that random whackers would be gunned down the moment they opened shop in the city of Atlanta. Manhunts began that ran across the nation. Bosses were calling in favours from their peers in other states for the sole purpose of destroying the dishonoured muggers. But those days are long since gone. Petri took a short break after the untimely demise of his boss, the late great Giordano. When he came back, he wanted nothing more than to start over, earn the trust of the newer generations of mobsters, and make a name for himself and his family. He was on his way to Chicago to give a loan to an honourable, although, as it is supposed that the loanee was the shooter, honourable is said hesitantly, man when he was shot multiple times. RIP Petri. One must wonder, was this mindless act simply an attempt to bring down an older gangster? Did someone get bored? What could bring about the destruction of such a helpful old man? 'SOME REVERSALS CAN BE AMUSING ' From: Connie_Corleone Over the last weekend, an interesting contest began on the streets. Similar to the Mr. Mafia contest, the men are made to strut their stuff in front of female judges. The difference being, since we have a Mr. Mafia crowned, the winners from this contest will go into next year’s calendar. The proceeds will go to the B.A.L.L.S non-profit organization, Bodily Ailments Like Leprosy Society. The gracious sponsors of this prerogative event are the owners of the Body Wax Rehabilitation Clinic and Miguel’s Closet – Sexy Lingerie Boutique for the Gent on the Go. The men parading around in such a fashion include Miguel, CrotchetyBitterandMad, Picasso, VitoCapone, Imperial, Pride, Abby_Normal, Tarby_Gunindapants, xSamTheAmericanTeddyBear, Mattalliic, and scoobydoo2. A contest such as this for women is a common occurrence, now for men, will this catch on and become a step toward equality for all. Perhaps, after promenading their bodies and listening to sickening comments accompanying pinches and pats on rears, the men even more respect for women and their intelligence. 'LETTERS PAGE ' Dear Editor, I write to you today with a gripe about the way when someone enters the world they are immediately harassed by 'recruiters' for numerous families having recently entered this world myself to follow in my father's footsteps. They do nothing short of shame their family with these whoring tactics. Selling it as if it was some cheap piece of meat, forcing it on a wide-eyed but certainly not stupid member of our community in a pathetic and shameless manner. I am disgusted by this practice and hope you print this letter as a show of support from a most honourable publication to a campaign against such shameful tactics, Yours, Disgusted of Los Angeles 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. 02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC) Floyd's Bar A little small town charm brought to the big city. Stuck in New York, New York on business? Homesick? Or just looking for a bit of fun on a dreary weekday? Stop by Floyd's. The food isn’t much, but the peanuts are free. Visit us at the following address: http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=10164 02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC)02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 02:36, February 15, 2013 (UTC) 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. '